Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Life Lesson #325

"That's what I'm afraid of. Not being enough. Not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough." - Brooke, One Tree Hill

Isn't that a girl's constant worry? I know for me, I struggle with the fear of inadequacy on a daily basis. I want people to like me. I want guys to notice me, to think I'm good enough. I want good grades. I want to not look at other girls and instantly compare myself to them. Basically, I want my life to be perfect and easy. But life isn't supposed to be easy, and I'm learning that as the years go by, it does in fact get harder. Guys, and girls, get more judgmental it seems. It gets easier to compare yourself to others. School gets harder. Relationships change and intensify. It's a struggle. Failure is sometimes okay. That's what I have to remind myself...breathe, relax, and remember that I am not perfect and sometimes I must fail in order to grow.

The thing is, God made each of our lives perfect in their own way. He crafted our ups and downs specifically with us in mind. He knows exactly what we can handle. I sometimes tend to forget that when I'm lying awake wondering how I got here and how I will wake up tomorrow and handle my to-do list....but it's so true. God is a perfect, beautiful being, and He sent a perfect, beautiful Savior to rescue us from dealing with more than we can bear. I've been reading the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," simply because I really want to learn how to be content in my relationship with my Savior, and I read a quote today that really struck me. It reads..."Everyone around us may be doing it. But at the end of our lives, we won't answer to everyone. We will answer to God." I literally had to put the book down and think about that. Every SINGLE day I wake up and worry about what I'm going to wear, what I'm going to say to certain people, what I'm going to put on facebook, and this and that etc. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is living our lives in order to become like our Savior. He will judge us at the end of our lives...not guys, not girls, not our parents or our siblings or our grandparents, or even our very best friends. It's important to form relationships, but it's also important to never ever let those relationships hinder your growth in your relationship with Christ. This is just something I've really been grappling with recently. I think it's quite possibly one of the hardest things to realize, but it's so so crucial to our walk.

I think the hardest thing about being a girl is facing the mirror everyday. Some days, I literally can't even look in the mirror because I've seen what I qualify as a beautiful girl or I've read or heard something that has made me not feel good enough or pretty enough to just be me that day. What I have to remember is that God made ME perfect and He thinks I'm beautiful, even when I don't think so, or when others put me down. In fact, Psalm 45:11 reminds me that the King is enthralled by MY beauty. He made me just the way I am, and even on my worst days, He loves me the same and is enthralled by me. By definition, the word enthralled means to hold spellbound, or to captivate. That means that we hold the God of the universe, the One who created the universe, spellbound. Try telling yourself that next time you look in the mirror...I bet it'll help you out a little.

If you're like me, these things will be a constant struggle. However, we have a God who hears us, and loves to listen. So talk, and cast your burdens on Him, because He is the only one who has the ability to make you feel good enough and who will never, ever, ever let you down.

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